Not used to it :(

A month ago, we could kiss n hug for an hour not feeling tired of it.
A month later, I got to hear that you don't like to kiss that much.
Kind of not use to not kissing you that much. 

Some times I could feel my heart sunk. The kind of sour sour breaking breaking feeling.

it's true that i love to kiss you, i love to hug you. I never get tired of doing that because it expresses how much i love you, but...... :(
when we took the lift up to your house, at times i get rejected. "不要一直kiss la". When you have the mood to express the feelings thru kissing and hugging. some times hearing this, it is quite mood-dropping. I just tell myself, never mind next time then kiss n hug.

I do not really like the feeling of rejections. especially in relationships.
perhaps I'm weird or I'm a weirdo? I don't know. :(
I never reject my girlfriend when she wish to hug and kiss me. I believe it's that moment the person wishes to express the feeling thru physical actions. Rejecting it, it is like shutting the person off or out.


I do not believe that i will get sick of doing something. Just like saying "I love you" at different moments. It expresses my feelings through this words. When i hear you say, "keeping saying it will lose it's significant. I asked myself I cannot predict the future, perhaps when tonight when I fall asleep and I could never wake up again? In life, it is full of uncertainty. The worst thing in life is regret! I know i will regret if i ever missed the chance to hug/ kiss and saying I love you. I tell myself to constantly express such feelings out because i could never know when is the last time i can say such words.

- don't postpone joy
-The worst feeling in life is regret, when you turn your head and walk off and you know you have a regret. The heaviest drop of tear will roll down your cheek and your heart will sink all the way.

i wonder i wonder i really wonder. :(

bad day :(

Had a bad night sleep yesterday.
End up sleeping only 3 hrs +. woke up so early today 6am!!! what the....
Just so that I take public transport instead of cabbing.


Today the lecturer is damn good! lol!! made me laugh non-stop. First time I was able to be awake.


Finally ended lesson :// 
Reach P.T lesson early, but end up started so late, 730+pm then end. :// rush from place to place just so that I can meet you.


Haisx:( first thing, got scolded by you for not answering phone. :( 
Just keep getting scolded. :(( just feel so sad about it. after a long day. this is all I get. :'(

Lesson in relationship :" expect nothing and everything will seemed to be a surprise,
Expect a lot everything will turn to be a 
Disappointment."

choices

Should I select the other university course?
Hmm. hard choices in life.


Primary school - headache choosing secondary cool
Secondary school - headache choosing subjects
                            - headache choosing poly
Polytechnic - headache choosing university
University - headache choosing course


Headache due to poor result. LOL!!XD

Lectures

After 2 years

AND YES i'm inside a lecture theatre listening to lectures again. Damn!

Can't concentrate well, feeling so sleeeeepppyyyy!! >_<

The moment

Waited together with my sweetheart for the arrival of 0000hrs to mark the 2nd month. <3
it's just so nice! <3

commitment towards a relationship is the key for a good and lasting r/s.

Study tmr!

Aww man, 0312am


spend the day and night with my sweet little girl. ")
hmm, sometimes just couldnt really avoid quarrels.
but well, life goes on.


got a plan to execute tmr evening. :)
haha!!


i'm so tired.




surprise for her next month
our 3rd month together + her birthday. <3
hahaha! got to make my dear a nice nice present! <3


14+3 rose(2 colors handmade)
A jigsaw puzzle.
Nice watch for her.
:)
shall eat at a nice restuarant. <3


gonna cost a bit, but it's okay! <3

bi shang yan jing ren zhu lei bie ku qi,
Mo ri qian xi ting liu zai wo huai li.

Happy making something nice for u.


But.... suan le.... 


Worth it? worth it not?.


Du ran hao xiang ting zhang hui mei - zhen shi.

the coldness

Na yi shun jian, wo de shi xian hao mo hu.

Icy cold.

So cold so co.......

the idiot train that came so slow. :/

Humans like to know the truth.
But when they know the truth, 
Are they able to handle it?




Zui yuan de ju li, shi dang ni men zai tong yi ge che xang
Que yao shui fu zi ji.
Shi zi ji yi ge ren.

I'm really trying to let you have a nice saturday.
That's all. just wanna spend time with you.
Why saturday always turn out badly? T.T
I really understand. :(((((((((((
Is it really because of me and my actions? :(((
I really don't know. :(((
I'm really trying.... reallyy trying.... :((((( 
Unknowingly sometimes tears just flows inwards.
:'( haisx :((

fang le zi ji :)

有 一 种 尖 锐 在 心 里 搁 浅
yǒu yì zhǒng jiān ruì zài xīn lǐ gē qiǎn
寂 寞 时 特 别 强 烈 呼 吸 刺 痛 纠 结
jì mò shí tè bié qiáng liè hū xī cì tòng jiū jié
有 一 些 笑 脸 公 式 化 出 现
yǒu yì xiē xiào liǎn gōng shì huà chū xiàn
计 算 出 快 乐 假 面 是 痊 癒 还 是 上 了 麻 醉
jì suàn chū kuài lè jiǎ miàn shì quán yù hái shì shàng le má zuì


放 了 自 己 放 了 回 忆
fàng le zì jǐ fàng le huí yì
放 了 世 界 不 过 如 此 而 已
fàng le shì jiè bú guò rú cǐ ér yǐ
多 少 庆 幸 多 少 风 景
duō shǎo qìng xìng duō shǎo fēng jǐng
再 放 了 之 後 才 清 晰
zài fàng le zhī hòu cái qīng xī
放 了 自 己 放 了 回 忆
fàng le zì jǐ fàng le huí yì
放 了 那 配 不 上 你 的 伤 心
fàng le nà pèi bú shàng nǐ de shāng xīn
你 该 诠 释 的 不 再 是 悲 剧 主 角 残 影
nǐ gāi quán shì de bú zài shì bēi jù zhǔ jué cán yǐng
而 是 新 的 自 己
ér shì xīn de zì jǐ


你 有 过 期 待 也 有 过 等 待
nǐ yǒu guò qī dài yě yǒu guò děng dài
满 腔 热 血 只 无 奈
mǎn qiāng rè xuè zhǐ wú nài
现 实 报 废 浪 漫
xiàn shí bào fèi làng màn
人 群 中 进 行 孤 单 时 复 习
rén qún zhōng jìn xíng gū dān shí fù xí
你 的 坚 强 很 争 气
nǐ de jiān qiáng hěn zhēng qì
只 是 怎 麽 学 不 会 忘 记
zhǐ shì zěn me xué bú huì wàng jì


放 了 自 己 放 了 回 忆
fàng le zì jǐ fàng le huí yì
放 了 世 界 不 过 如 此 而 已
fàng le shì jiè bú guò rú cǐ ér yǐ
多 少 庆 幸 多 少 风 景
duō shǎo qìng xìng duō shǎo fēng jǐng
再 放 了 之 後 才 清 晰
zài fàng le zhī hòu cái qīng xī
lyricsalls.blogspot.com
放 了 自 己 放 了 回 忆
fàng le zì jǐ fàng le huí yì
放 了 那 配 不 上 你 的 伤 心
fàng le nà pèi bú shàng nǐ de shāng xīn
你 该 诠 释 的 不 再 是 悲 剧 主 角 残 影
nǐ gāi quán shì de bú zài shì bēi jù zhǔ jué cán yǐng
而 是 新 的 自 己
ér shì xīn de zì jǐ


放 了 自 己 放 了 回 忆
fàng le zì jǐ fàng le huí yì
放 了 世 界 不 过 如 此 而 已
fàng le shì jiè bú guò rú cǐ ér yǐ
多 少 庆 幸 多 少 风 景
duō shǎo qìng xìng duō shǎo fēng jǐng
再 放 了 之 後 才 清 晰
zài fàng le zhī hòu cái qīng xī
放 了 自 己 放 了 回 忆
fàng le zì jǐ fàng le huí yì
放 了 那 配 不 上 你 的 伤 心
fàng le nà pèi bú shàng nǐ de shāng xīn
你 该 诠 释 的 不 再 是 悲 剧 主 角 残 影
nǐ gāi quán shì de bú zài shì bēi jù zhǔ jué cán yǐng
而 是 新 的 自 己
ér shì xīn de zì jǐ


当 那 幸 福 的 号 志 又 一 如 往 常 的 亮 起
dāng nà xìng fú de hào zhì yòu yì rú wǎng cháng de liàng qǐ
笑 着 放 了 自 己
xiào zhe fàng le zì jǐ

wo men dou sha

计 算   着  为  你 留  下  了 多  少   眼  泪
jì suàn zhe wéi nǐ liú xià le duō shǎo yǎn lèi
就  代  表     又  对  我 的 心    撒 了 多  少   谎
jiù dài biǎo   yòu duì wǒ de xīn   sā le duō shǎo huǎng
但  每  次 我 都  选   择   选   择 相    信
dàn měi cì wǒ dōu xuǎn zé   xuǎn zé xiāng xìn
相    信  你 是    爱 我 的
xiāng xìn nǐ shì   ài wǒ de


倔  强    的 以 为  我 真   的 能   改  变   你
jué jiàng de yǐ wéi wǒ zhēn de néng gǎi biàn nǐ
看  你 装     无 辜 的 眼  神      我 很  窒  息
kàn nǐ zhuāng wú gū de yǎn shén    wǒ hěn zhì xī
难  道  你 没  有  看  见     看  见   我 对  你 的 好
nán dào nǐ méi yǒu kàn jiàn   kàn jiàn wǒ duì nǐ de hǎo
还  是  你 忘   了   那 些  数  不 清   的 爱 情   轨  迹
hái shì nǐ wàng le   nà xiē shǔ bù qīng de ài qíng guǐ jì


你 说   我 傻    傻  在  爱 上      只  懂   爱 自 己 的 人
nǐ shuō wǒ shǎ   shǎ zài ài shàng   zhǐ dǒng ài zì jǐ de rén
我 说   你 傻    傻  在  爱 她   你 的 眼  睛   骗   不 了   人
wǒ shuō nǐ shǎ   shǎ zài ài tā   nǐ de yǎn jing piàn bù liǎo rén
我 们  都  傻    傻  在  为  一 段   没  有  未  来  的 爱 情   付 出
wǒ men dōu shǎ   shǎ zài wéi yí duàn méi yǒu wèi lái de ài qíng fù chū
还  在  期 待  会  有  奇 迹 出  现
hái zài qī dāi huì yǒu qí jì chū xiàn


你 说   我 傻    傻  在  爱 上      没  有  感  情   的 分  身
nǐ shuō wǒ shǎ   shǎ zài ài shàng   méi yǒu gǎn qíng de fēn shēn
我 说   你 傻    傻  在  爱 她   就  固 执  的 奋  不 顾 身
wǒ shuō nǐ shǎ   shǎ zài ài tā   jiù gù zhí de fèn bú gù shēn
我 们  都  傻    傻  在  宁   愿   被  牺 牲    也 不 愿   放   弃 天   真
wǒ men dōu shǎ   shǎ zài nìng yuàn bèi xī shēng yě bú yuàn fàng qì tiān zhēn
还  在  期 待  会  有  奇 迹 出  现
hái zài qī dāi huì yǒu qí jì chū xiàn


谁   没  有  为  爱 做  过  傻  事
shuí méi yǒu wéi ài zuò guò shǎ shì
只  是  问  心  无 愧    讽   刺 也 无 所  谓
zhǐ shì wèn xīn wú kuì   fěng cì yě wú suǒ wèi


我 说   我 傻    傻  在  爱 上      没  有  感  情   的 分  身
wǒ shuō wǒ shǎ   shǎ zài ài shàng   méi yǒu gǎn qíng de fēn shēn
你 说   你 傻    傻  在  爱 她   就  固 执  的 奋  不 顾 身
nǐ shuō nǐ shǎ   shǎ zài ài tā   jiù gù zhí de fèn bú gù shēn
我 们  都  傻    傻  在  宁   愿   被  牺 牲    也 不 愿   放   弃 天   真
wǒ men dōu shǎ   shǎ zài nìng yuàn bèi xī shēng yě bú yuàn fàng qì tiān zhēn
还  在  期 待  会  有  奇 迹 出  现
hái zài qī dāi huì yǒu qí jì chū xiàn


还  在  期 待  会  有  奇 迹 出  现
hái zài qī dāi huì yǒu qí jì chū xiàn

The unseen stress.
Problems after problems.
Working with people that doesn't like you is as good
As another fuck up problem. >_<""




T.T 
Hate the tears that flow inwards.
It's just more painful. 
T.T

with cab

Days with cab and runs.


630am wake up
650 take cab
725 - 730 reach camp
740 change up for life run
930am work time


Days without cab and with life run
550 wake up.
615 take bus
640 take train.
710 reach sbw
725 reach camp
740 change up for run.


Hmm. 40 mins + 30 mins(taxi) sleeping timing  difference!!! :/

:/ possible timeline?

the stress level :(
Ntu, unisim, ndp, daily work x2. omg!!
FML!! :(


T.T


24 hrs is not enough for me?!
Or have I not priority well?


T.T
To be coming
8am - 6pm work(minimal)
7pm - 10 pm study.
10pm-12am travel/self study
1+am-630am sleep
630am to 8am. travel to work.


T.T


Days without studies.
8-6pm. work
6+pm -10+pm for my dear.
10+pm till1am. self study
1+am till 630am sleep
630am till 8am travel to work.


Weekends
10am wake up
10- 1+pm study.
2+pm meet gf.
10pm onwards study time.
1am onwards sleep time.

the start 1403

1 month past.

5 promises that kicked start this relationship.

monday blues

Up and downz ups and down. :/