计算着为你流下了多少眼泪
就代表又对我的心 撒了 多少谎
但每次我都选择 选择相信相信你是爱我的
倔强的以为我真的能改变你
看你装无辜的眼神　我很窒息
难道你没有看见　看见我对你的好
还是你忘了　那些数不清的爱情轨迹
你说我傻　傻在爱上只懂爱自己的人
我说你傻　傻在爱他你的眼睛骗不了人
我们都傻　傻在为一段没有未来的爱情付出
还在期待会有奇迹出现
你说我傻　傻在爱上没有感情的分身
我说你傻　傻在爱他就固执的奋不顾身
我们都傻　傻在宁愿被牺牲也不愿放弃天真
还在期待会有奇迹出现

The hidden tears behind the smiles.

Some times i do get stuck in the cross junction. :(

In the first place, i didn't want you to go the holiday. NOT With you ex-boyfriend and you are the only girl. :( But how could i stop it. I couldn't. My heart struggle against it.
 I'm sincerely happy to see that you are happy and enjoying yourself. I feel happy, seriously. But sometimes in relationship a lot of thing can happen. :( I just don't want anything to happen to our relationship. :( (who can understand my thoughts?) :(((((( Tears just rolled down, not from the eyes but from the heart. </3. After all you struggled to move away from him, how could be sure if you will feel touched again. :'( NO ONE!! :'(((((((((((( I know at times i seemed selfish, but :'((( in relationship it is already meant to be selfish. Who would like to share their partner away? I believe not. :'(  I'm just afraid to lose you to your ex. :'( Emotions are something we can't control, in theory, perhaps you would tell me you hate him for this and that. but in practical, if he really do treat you very nice and well, would you promise that you would feel touched? I guess as human we will feel touched. that is where, crack lines might/mightnot unknowingly appear in our relationship. i just want to prevent that. Am i too selfish? Am i wrong? I really don't know. :'((((((


Perhaps my friend was right about me, i lack of self confidence. :'((( I guess she is right, in relationship i do lack of confidence. I really don't know why. I always feel that I am not that good enough.... :'( I really don't know why do i feel so. :'( Perhaps if i am good enough my previous relationship would have last? what the fuck la, i also don't know what i am thinking. >.<

I worried about this, i worried about that. your tummy wasn't strong and the past few days you just recovered from tummy problems. I do get worried when hearing that you took meals at weird timings. I'm just concern and worried about you. :( but i couldn't do anything about it. :( I really feel so lousy. :'( haisx :( Hearing that you had headache at night, i really wish that i could be there to take good care of you, but i know..... :'(  there will be someone else to take care of you. (i just wish i could be the one)

I really want to know how are you? how have you been? did you have fun? did you enjoy yourself? Anyone make you laugh like mad? anyone make you feel sad? there are just so many questions i wanted to ask. BUT HOW??????? :(((((((((((((  


Today, I waited for an extra hour. I feel frustrated, not because I got no patience to wait for you. But because I have other things to do as well, I just want to maximize the time i can meet you as well as doing my stuffs. But i know one thing for sure. if i tell you that i have things to be completed. you would tell me, then don't meet me lahh.... :'( this wasn't the answer i want to hear. :( end up no matter how i try to phase it in a good way, you still tell me the same thing. :(((( then don't meet me la. :((( I feel so sad, because i really feel excited about meeting you although i do have quite a bit of work to be done. I just want to spend a bit of time with you. I would really feel happy about it. Perhaps it's was the appreciation i was looking for. hais. what the fuck is wrong with me?!?! 




Tears just rolled down. :'(((  I really don't know if i should let you go the next time if your clique organize another holiday. :'((( (with your ex-boyfriend) i just don't want any feeling to be triggered between you and him. :'((
Would you stand in my position to feel for me? the fear of losing you.
Perhaps when the time comes, i would put on the best mask to cover up my emotions. :'((((((((
 
I only know one thing for sure, I would never leave you for another girl. 

thanks for letting me know where i stood

I tell myself, all is well all is well.  it's okay, it's true that a lot of things are free in this world. but once you take it for granted, someday it might be gone. Perhaps gone to some others which will appreciate it better.

Thanks for letting me felt like a FOOL, going all out to find you. end up, it's because you are not happy. just wanting to have some silent moment, seriously??? At least drop me a simple text or whatsapp msg. is it so tough? for that near 45 mins, i used text msg, fb msg, twitter msg, email, msn, whatsapp, phone call, all to no avail. NVM, I AM STUPID TO BE WORRIED!! 

To think that i am so 


GOOD NIGHT! :'(


The tear rolled out carrying the words "such a fool".

Understand is one thing, doing it is another thing.

Gonna hate tmr >.<

I just want to be the priority in your list.

We have the same amount of time as any greatest man on earth, it's just up to us to decide what we wanna focus on.  

Tmr you'll be going holiday. 4 guys and 1 girl. Your the only girl and your ex-boyfriend is going. how can i not worry for that bit. Perhaps the day i wouldn't worry, is the day i don't care anymore.


Suddenly remember the words mentioned to me. I know you wouldn't like me to go holiday with my friends(inclusive of my ex) I can understand that, therefore I wouldn't do it. I know the feeling sucks.


I guess it's not the trust that was missing, but who like to share their girlfriend? i guess none, if you really love your partner you would never want to share them with others. 


Just feel frustrating at timesssss...>.< 


I'm undeclared..
You're quite close with them..
keep a distance would be weird..
Close the gap.. I'm sure you wouldn't like that, if I'm close with other girls.



Just lazy to write my thoughts out
OKAY I SHALL STUDY NOW!!

 

Hers truly

Awww.. man... birthday is coming!! need to come up with a good plan! :) 

Need some ideas LOL!~

Blogggggingg for myself

 I like to post sad and angry things on blogger!!!! :) \ for me to vent it out!! HAHAHA!! ^^. 

Save all the nice little things for you, taking all the incorrigible thoughts away. :)