Some times i do get stuck in the cross junction. :(
In the first place, i didn't want you to go the holiday. NOT With you ex-boyfriend and you are the only girl. :( But how could i stop it. I couldn't. My heart struggle against it.
I'm sincerely happy to see that you are happy and enjoying yourself. I feel happy, seriously. But sometimes in relationship a lot of thing can happen. :( I just don't want anything to happen to our relationship. :( (who can understand my thoughts?) :(((((( Tears just rolled down, not from the eyes but from the heart. </3. After all you struggled to move away from him, how could be sure if you will feel touched again. :'( NO ONE!! :'(((((((((((( I know at times i seemed selfish, but :'((( in relationship it is already meant to be selfish. Who would like to share their partner away? I believe not. :'( I'm just afraid to lose you to your ex. :'( Emotions are something we can't control, in theory, perhaps you would tell me you hate him for this and that. but in practical, if he really do treat you very nice and well, would you promise that you would feel touched? I guess as human we will feel touched. that is where, crack lines might/mightnot unknowingly appear in our relationship. i just want to prevent that. Am i too selfish? Am i wrong? I really don't know. :'((((((
Perhaps my friend was right about me, i lack of self confidence. :'((( I guess she is right, in relationship i do lack of confidence. I really don't know why. I always feel that I am not that good enough.... :'( I really don't know why do i feel so. :'( Perhaps if i am good enough my previous relationship would have last? what the fuck la, i also don't know what i am thinking. >.<
I worried about this, i worried about that. your tummy wasn't strong and the past few days you just recovered from tummy problems. I do get worried when hearing that you took meals at weird timings. I'm just concern and worried about you. :( but i couldn't do anything about it. :( I really feel so lousy. :'( haisx :( Hearing that you had headache at night, i really wish that i could be there to take good care of you, but i know..... :'( there will be someone else to take care of you. (i just wish i could be the one)
I really want to know how are you? how have you been? did you have fun? did you enjoy yourself? Anyone make you laugh like mad? anyone make you feel sad? there are just so many questions i wanted to ask. BUT HOW??????? :(((((((((((((
Today, I waited for an extra hour. I feel frustrated, not because I got no patience to wait for you. But because I have other things to do as well, I just want to maximize the time i can meet you as well as doing my stuffs. But i know one thing for sure. if i tell you that i have things to be completed. you would tell me, then don't meet me lahh.... :'( this wasn't the answer i want to hear. :( end up no matter how i try to phase it in a good way, you still tell me the same thing. :(((( then don't meet me la. :((( I feel so sad, because i really feel excited about meeting you although i do have quite a bit of work to be done. I just want to spend a bit of time with you. I would really feel happy about it. Perhaps it's was the appreciation i was looking for. hais. what the fuck is wrong with me?!?!
Tears just rolled down. :'((( I really don't know if i should let you go the next time if your clique organize another holiday. :'((( (with your ex-boyfriend) i just don't want any feeling to be triggered between you and him. :'((
Would you stand in my position to feel for me? the fear of losing you.
Perhaps when the time comes, i would put on the best mask to cover up my emotions. :'((((((((
I only know one thing for sure, I would never leave you for another girl.
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